9 Months
by crematosis
Summary: Sequel to Just the Three of Us. Steve should have known better. Bucky and Tony went into heat together, of course they would get pregnant together.


A/N: Because a lot of people wanted to torture Steve, err, see Bucky and Tony pregnant, I had to write a sequel. And then I'll probably have to write another sequel when the babies become children. Oh well.

Disclaimer: Hey, I just own all the random nameless OC characters. So proud. So proud.

But on the ninth, both omegas burst into the gym wearing twin expressions of jubilant glee and Steve realized what had actually happened.

"Oh god," Steve said. "Seriously?"

"Yep," Tony said, his grin widening. "Your supersoldier supersperm has done its job."

Steve rubbed his temples. "Both of you?"

"Obviously," Bucky said. "You did fuck both of us."

"That doesn't mean you would both get pregnant. We've been together for months and neither of you got pregnant earlier."

Bucky shrugged. "We went into heat together, we got pregnant together. Shouldn't be all that surprising."

Yeah, Steve didn't know why he was so surprised. The two of them treated everything like a competition. One of them had probably gotten pregnant and the other had as well, just to spite him.

"And now I have to put up with the two of you for nine months," Steve said with a sigh.

"Eight months, technically," Tony said. "We've been incubating little baby Rogers for a month already." He shared a glance with Bucky and they both grinned.

Right. Only eight more months.

But at least Bucky and Tony were thrilled to be pregnant. Maybe that would last throughout their pregnancies.

The optimism lasted for all of a month. Which was when Bucky came down with morning sickness.

Bucky bent over the toilet bowl for the fourth morning that week. Steve gently rubbed his back and held his hair out of the way. He didn't like seeing Bucky so miserable, but there was really nothing he could do for him. The nausea would just have to run its course.

Tony sat on the edge of the sink, idly swinging his feet in the air. "I'm famished. I could really go for some oatmeal right about now. Or maybe some eggs and hash browns. What about you, Buck?"

"Bastard," Buck groaned. "Don't talk to me about food."

"Waffles," Tony said decidedly. "With strawberries and blueberries and maple syrup. Or maybe butter and honey. No, peanut butter and honey. Yeah, there we go. And maybe some yogurt."

Bucky swiped at him blindly and Tony ducked back just out of his range. "And a glass of orange juice. Doesn't that sound nice? It'll get the taste of bile right out of your mouth."

Bucky surged upwards and socked Tony in the jaw. Tony responded by kicking Bucky in the chest. And then the fight escalated until they were both wrestling on the floor, trading blows and insults. Steve had to tear the two of them apart.

"Cut it out. Both of you. You're grown men. Stop acting like children."

Bucky crossed his arms over his chest and glared at Tony. "He started it."

Steve sighed. Just seven more months, he reminded himself. Just seven more months.

Luckily, Bucky's morning sickness lasted only another week. And once his stomach settled, his mood stabilized. He was once again in good spirits, utterly delighted to be pregnant.

Steve hadn't been sure of the right time to tell the team about the pregnancies, but Bucky's happy glow and openly affectionate behavior didn't go unnoticed for long.

Natasha cornered him one evening as he was making dinner for the omegas. "Is Bucky pregnant?"

"Yes," Steve said. "And Tony-"

But Natasha swept past him and hugged Bucky. "Congratulations. You'll be a fantastic mother."

Bucky wasn't showing yet, but she put her hands on his stomach anyway. Soon the two of them were deep in a discussion of maternity clothes and prenatal vitamins while Tony sulked and picked at his rice.

Steve dropped into his chair at the kitchen counter and stared down at his plate. Suddenly, he wasn't feeling all that hungry. Probably because he could see the inevitable fight brewing.

Clint slid in beside him. "How far along?" he asked.

"Almost three months."

Clint cast a sideways glance in Tony's direction. "Both of them?"

"Both of them," Steve confirmed.

Clint shook his head. "I don't know if I should congratulate you or wish you luck, you poor bastard."

Steve grimaced. "Sometimes I'm not too sure myself."

Clint grinned. "It's early still, but let me buy you a drink. Toast your happiness or drown your sorrows. Whatever works."

Steve was all too happy to head to the bar with Clint. Even though he couldn't get drunk, just the taste of whiskey made him feel more relaxed. Clint was well on his way to drunk, but he had always been a quiet drunk. So he just leaned against the bar and listened as Steve complained about putting up with the two omegas.

Clint swirled his drink around in his hand. "Hey, must be rough. But at least you guys got it done." He swayed and tightened his grip around the counter. "Nat can't have kids you know. Alpha female. But she'll live viciously...victoriously..."

"Vicariously?"

"Yeah, that's the word. She'll help you out."

Guilt pooled in the bottom of Steve's stomach. He had been so busy complaining about dealing with two pregnancies that he hadn't stopped to think of the people who couldn't have children at all. He was a lucky man.

Clint slapped a hand down on the bar. "Hey, let's go home. Make sure nobody died."

Steve pulled money out of his wallet to cover their drinks and steered Clint back in the direction of the Tower.

When they returned, the kitchen was empty. All the dishes were cleaned and put away and a note in Natasha's handwriting had been taped on the fridge about leftovers.

He was about to grab a plate when Clint tugged at his arm. "C'mere," he said. "You've gotta see this."

Steve followed him into the living room.

Bucky was fast asleep in the armchair and Tony was sprawled across the couch with his head in Natasha's lap.

"Lucky bastard," Clint said. "She never lets me do that."

Steve grinned. "Maybe if you got pregnant she would."

Clint shuddered. "Fuck no. I think I'll live vic-vic...what's the word, again?"

Steve rolled his eyes. "Vicariously."

"Yeah, I'll live vicariously through the two of them for the next six months." Clint patted his stomach. "I'd be pretty pissed if I couldn't fit into my favorite clothes anymore. Just wait until Stark stops fitting into all his favorite shirts. He's going to throw a fit."

Steve was dreading when that happened. He was sure that when Tony's stomach started swelling, he would go into hiding down in the lab. But ever contrary to all Steve's expectations, Tony started becoming more sociable when he started showing. He showed up regularly to team meals, actually used the prenatal vitamins Natasha bought, and spent more time watching movies with Clint and Bucky and playing chess with Bruce than he did in the workshop.

And Tony was all too happy to spend time out of the Tower as well. Usually Steve had to force Tony to get some fresh air, but Tony seemed to develop a new found love for Central Park and all of the eateries within walking distance. Bucky was happy to accompany them to the park during the day, but when Tony wanted to go out to dinner at Asiate, he balked at the idea. Bucky was still self-conscious of his metal arm in public and the last thing he wanted to do was go to a fancy restaurant with Tony where everyone would stare. So Tony and Steve went alone and Steve tried not to ignore the fact that his dinner ended up being two hundred dollars.

The next morning a grinning Clint tossed a tabloid magazine down on the counter. "You two made the cover."

Steve grimaced. The headline read "Tony Stark Stress-Eating" and in smaller print "Billionaire gains twenty pounds after fellow omega James 'Bucky' Barnes walks out of relationship". There were two pictures on the cover, one of Tony stealing a scallop off Steve's plate and the other a picture of them walking out of the restaurant with Tony's slight bump circled in red ink with the caption "shocking weight gain".

Tony snorted. "Journalists these days. I drank grape juice, for fuck's sake. That should have told them all they need to know. But, no, they'd rather make up their own stories."

"Do you want to issue a statement to clear everything up?" Steve asked hesitantly.

"Hell no. I'm not doing their work for them." Tony's expression softened. "Look, Steve, I don't really care what they say about me. I'm used to it. When Pepper and I broke up they talked about me getting wasted even if all I had was one beer. They're always going to make crap up and I've learned to ignore it."

"If you're sure," Steve said.

"I'm sure. Besides," Tony's eyes twinkled, "the truth will be obvious soon enough."

Five months into the pregnancy, everyone was well aware of the double pregnancies and the three of them were deluged by reporters every time they stepped out of the Tower. Tony usually dispersed the crowd with a quip like "We're going out to dinner. And if you make us miss our dinner reservations, it will not be a pretty sight. Hell hath no fury like a pregnant man."

It fell to Pepper to field most of the reporters' questions in a press conference. Yes, she confirmed, Tony and Bucky were both pregnant. Yes, of course they were Steve's. That was the most ridiculous question she had ever heard. Yes, they were keeping both babies. No, she didn't know the gender of either baby and if Tony and Bucky didn't want to share that information, she wasn't going to pry. Conference over.

After Pepper's press conference, the paparazzi swarm diminished somewhat, but the tabloids had gone into high gear, cranking out story after story speculating on the genders of the children with the shape of Tony's and Bucky's bellies supposedly used as proof. One magazine had even posted an alarming theory that Tony was having triplets. And no matter what the doctors said, Steve couldn't stop worrying about that one.

Tony brushed off all the speculation with his trademark flippancy. He refused to make any statements to the press and refused to alter his plans because of the paparazzi. He simply acted like they weren't there.

Even Bucky finally caved under the weight of Tony's irrepressible attitude and reluctantly agreed to go out for dinner to celebrate their sixth month of pregnancy. It probably helped that Tony planned for them to go to Robert Restaurant, which was Bucky's favorite eatery. Steve was rather fond of the place as well. It was located in the Museum of Art and Design, which already appealed to the artist in him. He found the ultra modern décor fascinating and since Tony made the reservations, they always got a table next to the window where they had a good view of the park. The jazz music was also a nice touch. Steve knew Bucky didn't care about the aesthetic of the place, but he had always loved jazz. It seemed to put him at ease.

And any public place that could put Bucky at ease was a place Steve would gladly visit over and over again.

Tony dragged them past the paparazzi swarm, ignoring the insensitive questions about Tony and Bucky's competence as mothers. Bucky stuck close to Steve's side as he shouldered through the masses gathered outside the Tower.

But once inside the restaurant, the tension drained out of Bucky's body and he let out a sigh of relief.

Steve slung an arm around Bucky's shoulder. "Worth battling the paparazzi?"

Bucky grinned. "Always. Food's good here." He patted his stomach. "Baby's gonna take after you. Always hungry."

Tony wandered off to ask about their table and Steve helped Bucky onto one of the benches in the lobby.

"Oh, how sweet."

Bucky stiffened instinctively, his eyes darting around the room for the source of the voice.

An old woman sitting a few feet away smiled in their direction. "You two make such a cute couple. I'm sure the baby will be beautiful."

"Uh, thanks," Steve said. He rubbed Bucky's shoulder soothingly. She was just an old woman. Nothing to be worried about.

"Hey, guys," Tony said. "Table's ready."

"Oh, how wonderful," the woman said. "Taking your friends out for-oh! You're pregnant, too. How lovely." She beamed at Tony. "May I?"

Tony just smiled and allowed the woman to rub his stomach. She tried to do the same to Bucky, but he crossed his arms over his chest and fixed her with a frosty glare.

"I'm sure your alpha would have a thing to say about your behavior," she said, looking meaningfully at Steve.

Steve's jaw clenched. Bucky was his own person, not Steve's property. He couldn't stand someone talking about Bucky that way.

"Hey," Tony said. "He doesn't want you to touch him so you're not going to. End of story."

"Well, I never," the woman said. "With an attitude like yours, you're never going to find a decent alpha."

"I already have one. He's too polite to tell you to get the hell out of here, but I'm not."

She huffed and stormed off, muttering under her breath about disrespect.

"Well, then," Tony said, gesturing towards their table. "After you, Buck."

"Damn," Bucky said. "You sure told her."

Tony shrugged. "One of the benefits of being me. I can act like an asshole to people who deserve it. Everyone expects that by now. It's much less of a scandal than Captain America beating up a little old lady." He leaned into Steve and rubbed his arm. "Because I know you were itching to lay into her."

Steve grinned sheepishly. All his protective alpha instincts were heightened now that his omegas were pregnant. But as two of the most stubborn, mouthiest omegas Steve had ever met, they could handle obnoxious strangers without his help.

"What the hell was her problem anyway?" Bucky muttered as he settled into his seat. "She think she owns us or something?"

"Don't ask me," Tony said. "She's from your generation."

Bucky rolled his eyes. "And we're back to the old jokes."

"Well, it's true. She's probably right around your age. You might have even known her back in the day."

Bucky grimaced. "Probably one of the dumb broads I dated."

Tony snickered. "Broads. I love it."

"Of course you do. Word came out of my mouth."

"And I love everything that comes out of your mouth."

Bucky raised an eyebrow. "Trying to get lucky tonight, Stark?"

"I don't have to try," Tony said. "Two gorgeous men sleeping in my bed every night? I'm already a very lucky man."

"I think those pregnancy hormones are fucking with your libido," Bucky muttered.

"You weren't complaining when I was sucking you off last night."

They all turned at the sound of throat being cleared.

"Oh, hi," Tony said brightly. "Look, guys, it's a waiter."

Bucky snorted into his napkin.

"Should I come back later?" the waiter asked, eyes flicking between the three of them.

"Nope," Tony said cheerfully. "We are absolutely totally done talking about our sex lives. For now anyway."

Steve kicked him under the table.

Tony just grinned and began placing their usual order.

Tony and Bucky continued playfully flirting all through dinner. Steve would have been concerned about the waiter having to overhear obscenities every time he came back to refill their glasses, but he knew Tony would make sure the poor man got a sizable tip. And at the end of the meal, the waiter smiled and told them to enjoy their night so Steve supposed he wasn't too traumatized.

"Come on, darling," Tony said, hooking his arm under Bucky's. "Your hero will walk you home."

"Steve's walking me home? How nice."

Tony clutched his chest in mock outrage. "This is the thanks I get after I save you from that ghastly woman?"

Bucky burst into a fit of laughter and Tony grinned triumphantly as he pushed open the door.

Outside, the group of paparazzi was eagerly awaiting their return with plenty of questions about everything from what they had for dinner to how they were going to manage being parents and Avengers at the same time. And one young reporter began loudly questioning whether Tony or Bucky would ever be good mothers, considering their track records.

Tony pulled down his sunglasses and looked the man in the eye. "Talk as much shit about me as you want, but don't bring Bucky into this. He's worked hard to recover from the torture Hydra put him through and the last thing he needs is people like you telling him he's a bad person because of what he's been through. It's bullshit."

"Tony," Steve said warningly. He put a hand on Tony's shoulder and steered him back towards the Tower. He had seen enough videos of Tony angrily engaging the paparazzi and he really didn't want a front-row seat to another incident.

"He's going to be a damn good mother," Tony shot back over his shoulder.

Steve pushed Tony and Bucky on ahead of him into the Tower, glaring at anyone who came too close.

Tony slammed the door on the crowd and shook his head. "Jesus, Buck. Everyone wants a piece of you tonight. You wearing a new cologne or something?

"Tony," Bucky said carefully. "I appreciate you coming to my defense, but you can't let them say those things about you either."

Tony shrugged. "It's nothing we didn't already know. I'm a selfish asshole, an alcoholic, and a workaholic. Not exactly Mother of the Year material."

"You're going to be a fantastic mother," Bucky countered. "Do you realize you've gone six months without alcohol now? And you haven't been pulling all-nighters in the workshop in ages. Isn't that right, Steve?" He looked to Steve for confirmation.

Steve nodded. "You've done a good job taking care of yourself, Tony."

Tony's mouth twisted in a self-deprecating smirk. "Of course I take care of myself. I'm a selfish bastard."

"Stop that. I don't want to hear you repeating their lies."

Tony blinked in surprise. "Bucky, I-"

"You took care of me. Now it's my turn to take care of you." Bucky pushed Tony back against the wall and slid a hand under his shirt.

Tony slipped his shirt off over his head. "Oh, well now. This is definitely a good reward for-"

"Shut up. Just shut up," Bucky growled. He licked his way down Tony's chest and fastened his teeth on one of his dusky nipples.

Tony whimpered and bucked upwards. "Oh my god, that is intense."

Bucky smiled beatifically. "Feels good, doesn't it?

"Hell yes."

"I bet I can get you off just like this."

"Oh god," Tony moaned. "It's so good it hurts. Mercy, mercy."

"Say it."

"What?"

"Tell me how you're going to be a wonderful, loving mother to this kid."

Tony squirmed. "Bucky, please."

Bucky pinched Tony's nipple. "Say it."

"Okay, okay. I'm totally awesome and I'm going to kick ass at baby caring. Now will you stop torturing me?"

"Good enough," Bucky decided. "Steve?"

Steve stepped forward and took Tony's hard length in his hand. Tony's eyes fluttered shut and in another minute his body shuddered with release. Steve put an arm around him and held him steady as Tony's legs trembled.

"That was good," Tony said breathlessly. "So, so good. But damn am I drained. I don't think I can-"

Bucky kissed Tony's forehead. "Don't worry about it. Steve will carry you to bed."

Tony huffed as Steve scooped him into his arm. "I'm a big boy. I'll be fine in a minute."

But Tony was fast asleep in his arms long before they made it upstairs.

The Avengers call came in the middle of breakfast the next morning.

Steve groaned and dropped his head down onto the table. They hadn't had a major assignment in months and he had foolishly hoped it would last until the omegas gave birth. Well, back to reality.

Everyone else began hurriedly downing their last bites of breakfast before heading off to change.

"Jarvis," Tony said, looking upwards expectantly.

"I'm afraid not, sir. The pressure the chestplate would exert on your midsection would be a great discomfort at best and injurious to the baby at worst. I cannot allow you to put on the suit for the remainder of your pregnancy."

Tony sat down in the middle of the kitchen floor and began bawling, actually bawling.

Bucky maneuvered himself off his chair and crouched down beside Tony. "It'll be alright, babe," he said. "Just gotta take it easy for the next three months."

Tony sobbed into Bucky's shirt. "I don't know how to take it easy."

"Yes, you do," Bucky said. "Come on, it won't be that bad. I'm sure the two of us can find plenty of things to do so you won't be bored."

Bucky was right, of course. When they returned from battle two days later, the two omegas were curled up on the couch making out while _Brokeback Mountain_ played in the background.

"Oh, look," Natasha said. "They haven't killed each other." She held out her hand to Clint and he begrudgingly handed over twenty dollars.

They fell into a routine easily enough. Bucky and Tony stayed home together watching movies and cuddling on the couch while the rest of the Avengers went out to fight the villain of the week. Steve was proud of how accepting the omegas were of this temporary situation. They would rather be fighting beside the rest of the team, of course, but they weren't complaining about it as much as Steve expected.

But all that changed when a heat wave hit New York halfway through the seventh month of their pregnancies. Avengers action ground to a halt because most villains found the heat too unbearable. Thor had even left the Tower to attend to his brother who was suffering from heat stroke. And Bucky and Tony were absolutely miserable and cranky. They had taken to sprawling on the two living room couches with bowls of ice cream, unwilling to move except to visit the bathroom every half an hour.

Steve was sure they'd dissolve into fisticuffs if they weren't hugely pregnant. Still, he didn't like the two of them being alone when they were so irritable. He settled into the armchair between the two couches with a sci-fi novel from Tony's collection.

Tony propped his feet up on the armrest and grimaced. "Tell your baby to stop kicking me."

Steve turned a page. "Tell him yourself. He's your baby, too."

Tony poked his stomach. "Hey, baby, settle it down in there." He frowned. "Nope, not working."

"Maybe if he actually had a name he would listen to you," Bucky said.

"Pedro."

"Hell no," Bucky said. "You are not naming your baby Pedro. Steve, tell him no."

"Tony, that's-" Steve began

"If you name your baby Pedro, I am teaching my child to call you Toby."

"Oh, so you're teaching your child to be rude and disrespectful. I'm sure Steve appreciates you raising a future bully. You know, since he hates bullying and all."

"He's not going to be a bully. He's just going to know you're the kind of idiot who names a baby Pedro."

"Cut that out, you two" Steve said in his most commanding alpha tone.

As usual, neither of them listened to him.

"If you're going to be a dick about what I name my baby, maybe I'll move you down into the basement and I'll only come to visit if you agree that Pedro is way cuter than your baby."

Steve swatted Tony with his book. "Stop being so dramatic." He swatted Bucky. "And stop antagonizing him."

Tony crossed his arms over his chest. "Fine. Forget about Pedro. Bucky can name his baby Pinky and mine can be Brain."

"Absolutely not," Steve said. "But Brian is fine."

Tony snorted. "Brian's a boring normal name. My baby's too good for that."

"I'm sorry, Anthony Edward," Bucky said. "But boring normal names run in your family."

"Look who's talking, _James_," Tony said scornfully.

"Tony," Steve said warningly. He gave him a stern look.

Bucky rolled his eyes. "Don't hit him again. You might damage one of the few brain cells he has left."

Steve sighed. Sometimes he felt like he already had two children.

The heat wave lasted for another two weeks and then the temperature very slowly started to sink below double digits. Once it was down to 90 degrees, villains began broadcasting their plans that they would totally get around to once it was just a little cooler outside.

Jarvis brought up the holographic screen to play a message from Loki. The pale Asgardian was almost completely swathed in blankets, but what they could see of his face and neck was heavily sunburnt. And Loki seemed too tired to do anything except make vague threats in a lethargic tone until Thor wandered onscreen with a bottle of lotion.

"Brother," Thor scolded. "You cannot carry out these plots when you are this vulnerable. Come back to bed."

Loki gave them all a long-suffering look. "Doesn't my idiot brother have responsibilities in your Tower? Some sort of manual labor perhaps?"

"Sorry, buddy. You're on your own," Tony said. "Jarvis, kill the feed."

Tony was in a much better mood after the message from Loki. Maybe because he knew that Iron Man would see action again in a few weeks or maybe because he realized he didn't have it as bad as Loki did. Bucky remained surly and uncomfortable, but Tony had stopped rising to his bait so they no longer got into daily arguments.

But the nights were still difficult. Steve usually slept in the middle of the bed and the two omegas curled up on either side of him. And since they were pregnant, they were finding it harder to find a comfortable position to sleep in. Bucky especially tossed and turned most nights.

"Bucky," Steve said. "Can you please stop wiggling? You keep elbowing me."

Bucky said nothing, just rolled over on his other side and shifted about some more, his elbow digging painfully into Steve's ribs.

"Bucky," Steve said again.

"Oh, having trouble sleeping?" Bucky said in a falsely friendly voice that only meant trouble. "I don't know why you'd have any trouble. You're not the one with a fucking huge belly that makes it goddamn impossible to sleep." His eyes narrowed. "But of course you wouldn't know anything about that. You're a goddamn fucking alpha and you have it perfectly easy while the rest of us suffer." He elbowed Steve again. "Deal with it. You don't hear me bitching all night, do you?"

"Fine," Steve said through gritted teeth. "I'm sure you'll be much more comfortable without me." He slid out of the bed and stalked off towards one of the guest rooms.

Less than an hour later, Steve heard the door creak open and the patter of feet approaching the bed.

"Steve, are you awake?" Tony asked quietly.

Steve sat up, suppressing a yawn. "What's the matter, Tony?"

Tony shifted, looking down at the floor. "We miss you."

Steve snorted. "You do, anyway." Tony had always hated sleeping alone. He usually didn't get much rest unless Bucky's or Steve's arms were wrapped tightly around him.

Tony crawled into bed and leaned back into Steve's arms. "He'll come around. It's just the hormones, you know."

"I know," Steve said. He stroked Tony's stomach. "I'm putting the two of you on birth control after this."

Tony snickered. "Oh, come on. It wasn't as bad as you thought."

"No," Steve allowed. "You've both been very good considering how miserable you must be by now. I bet you're counting down the days until you get your body back."

"Yep," Tony said cheerfully. "One more month until I get my beautiful, sexy, glorious body back."

Steve laughed and swatted his arm. "You're going to have to work to get back in shape, you know."

"I know. I expect you and Bucky to drag my ass down to the gym at an unreasonably early hour every morning. But, whatever it takes to have abs again. I love carrying your baby, don't get me wrong. It's awesome and I feel sexy as hell most of the time. But I could do without the heartburn and having to piss every five minutes. And it's hard to get anywhere when all I can do is waddle."

Steve kissed the back of Tony's neck. "It'll all be worth it."

"Yeah," Tony said. "Yeah, it will."

Steve could hear the sleepy smile in his words and he kept gently kissing his neck until Tony started snoring.

When Steve woke up the next morning, Bucky was asleep at the foot of the bed.

"Told you so," Tony said with a smirk. "Bucky still loves us." He pressed a kiss to Bucky's cheek and then heaved himself off the bed to search for breakfast.

Bucky's eyes fluttered open. "Steve." He struggled upright. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have-"

Steve stroked Bucky's hair. "No hard feelings. If I can put up with all of Tony's crap, I can put up with a little bit from you."

"I can hear you," Tony called from the hallway. "And just for that, I'm not making you any coffee this morning."

Bucky grinned and snuggled into Steve's chest.

They had less than a month to go now, since the obstetrician had scheduled a C-section for Bucky. And Tony, being Tony had immediately demanded a C-section, too.

"Oh no, you don't," Tony had declared. "That's cheating. If you can get that baby out early, so can I."

Steve knew he shouldn't be so thrilled about the two of them going in for surgery, but he was really ready for their pregnancies to be over. Tony woke up every morning announcing counting down the days and by "Ten more days" Steve was just about ready to put his fist through the wall.

But the day Tony and Bucky went into the hospital, Steve became a bundle of nerves. He knew they were going to be fine. Thousands upon thousands of omegas had gone through the same surgery. And besides, Tony and Bucky were both far too stubborn to die. But still, Steve worried.

And Bucky watched him irritably as he paced around the waiting room. "Sit down and wait for the doctor. Goddamn."

Reluctantly, Steve sank down into a chair. He had to calm down and keep it together for their sakes.

The door opened. "Stark and Barnes. Time for your operations."

Steve recognized the willowy figure immediately, even disguised in hospital scrubs.

Loki.

He stepped in front of Tony and Bucky and spread his arms out protectively. "You lay a finger on them and you're dead."

"Down, boy. Down, Steve." Tony ducked under his arms. "Don't antagonize the doctor."

Steve pulled Tony back. "I am not letting Loki anywhere near our babies. He's probably going to kill them."

"Loki's batshit crazy, but he's still an omega. He would never harm a baby."

Steve raised an eyebrow. "You're an omega?"

"I am not," Loki said stiffly. "I'm a beta."

"Loki, darling, betas don't get pregnant. And you were all sorts of pregnant in that threat video."

Loki squeezed his eyes shut. "Very well. I admit it. I'm a mere omega."

"And Thor was there to help you with the birth, wasn't he?"

"Yes," Loki said with a sigh. "The big oaf has always insisted on being there when I give birth. He seems to think I'll die without his help or some such nonsense." His eyes snapped open. "It's not his, you understand. It's nobody's. I just spontaneously get pregnant. It's a curse."

"Whatever you say, Loki. So, what did you have? Boy or girl?"

"A serpent."

Tony snorted. "Right, of course. Your baby is going to grow up to be a wily little snake just like you. But seriously, what did you have?"

"A snake," Loki said. "As in, an actual reptile."

Tony's eyebrows went up.

Loki heaved a sigh. "I was cursed long ago. I end up pregnant every few years and give birth to beasts."

"Damn. That has to suck."

Loki nodded. "It can be quite painful. But I've always managed, with or without Thor's help. But of course, he doesn't see it that way." Loki rolled his eyes. "In exchange for being annoyingly underfoot while I was pregnant and sunburned, I'm meant to help you with your own births."

"See?" Tony said. "I knew he had a perfectly good explanation."

"You're not a doctor," Steve said. "How can you possibly help?"

Loki's eyes gleamed. "Like this." He snapped his fingers. Green mist swirled around Bucky and Tony and startled-looking infants appeared in their hands.

"Holy shit," Bucky said. "I feel like I've been turned inside out."

"Totally worth it," Tony said. He smiled down at the baby and rocked him gently in his arms. "No messy surgery, no months of exercising to get my hot body back. This is awesome."

"So," Loki purred. "Now that you are suitably appreciative, might I be left alone to carry out my schemes in peace?"

Steve sighed. Of course there was a catch. He should have known Loki wouldn't do them any favors.

"Nice try," Tony said. "But we can't let you destroy Manhattan just because you helped us out."

Loki tipped his head to one side and studied them appraisingly. "I suppose you can't speak for your entire team. But, perhaps the three of you anyway can grant me a little leeway in our next encounter."

"Sure," Tony said. "I can give you a little head start. Hey, Jarvis, next time we get a call on Loki, add in a fifteen minute delay before notifying the team."

"As you wish, sir."

Loki grinned. "You always were my favorite." He disappeared in a shower of silver sparkles.

Steve scrubbed at his face with his hands. "I can't believe you made a pact with a supervillain."

"What?" Tony said. "How much damage can he do in fifteen minutes anyway?"


End file.
